All I want is just this small space in a huge online world to rant and share what I really love. So you can either like it or hate it and F off <3

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well it started out as a great week but slowly went downhill to one that hasnt been that great. im talking about this week. i was so psyched about all the inspirations i got for my latest projects in MDC and i was ready to like start on it and do a great job for the last tekong show this yr.

i dont know why but this blog is totally for all the rantings and it just screams: NEGATIVITY OVERLOAD!! but i dont really care since this is my platform to really express what i suppress inside. basically my ideas for beyonce medley were excepted but with much hesitation. my boss was worried of the whole changing of costumes. as for the michael jackson medley, the idea was totally scrapped because we're now headed in a totally different direction. it was kinda frustrating but working with my boss for some time now, i understand how he works and its almost normal for him to always change his mind because he really wants the best. after i had gone through this episode, the next disaster arrived. i went to see the tailor that i usually go to and she told me she cldnt finish doing all the costumes for me but only half of the beyonce medley which officially leaves me in deep shit. now i have to continue searching for alternatives and hopefully everything will turn out ok (if its God's will) and i learnt a lesson to never just depend on one source. now i have to outsource and i dont even know which tailors i can rely on. gosh. not only that. the michael jackson costumes will have to be made because no friggin store selling business clothes sell a full pure white suit. ugh everything is black, grey and off white. goodness.

so after yesterday, i really had to take a break because its really too much to handle as of now. i have to slowly sort out and plan out what i want to do and how im gg to finish everything by the end of this month (actually more like before the last week of november) HELP!! anyway i was feeling in the mood for a movie that was sad because that was how i was feeling at that point of time so i watched: My Sister's Keeper. OMG!! i have to say that it is such a great show. it wasnt the best but it was gooooooooood. hahaha. throughout the movie, i was tearing because the emotions the actors played out were so real and it felt like a life story being told right in front of me. i was crying by the last scene because the death was a painful one and seeing something like that just gets to me. it really made me realize that i have to treasure the people in my life because life is so fragile and to see a loved one in such a state would absolutely break my heart. sigh.

i just hope that tomorrow will bring with it some joys for me and i really sincerely hope that my work will not just be completed on time but look like what i intended it to be. as of now i just gotta suck it up.

well halloween wasnt a really significant period for me becos ive never really celebrated it. in fact i didnt even feel like celebrating it on saturday when everyone was all dressed up in costumes ready to party. i on the other hand decided that spending quality time with some of my good friends seemed more fun. i was a little hesitant in the day though when they told me that we were going to watch the latest singapore film: blue mansion. we have to admit that we usually prefer the special effects and dramatics from the films that are produced in hollywood and it is undeniable that the filming techniques are more professional and advanced. hence, i wasnt really keen on a singapore film but im glad glenn goei proved me wrong.

there was a newspaper report on his present work where he sold his houses to pay for the film which i have to say shows a lot of drive and passion for his craft. the movie was very very very good. the literary devices just brought the whole movie alive. the meanings and intentions behind every single scene was well thought and hence portraying emotions that felt real. it really drew me in and i appreciated that the movie was such a success. i would totally recommend it to my friends. hahaha.

anyway on a separate note, i have to say that ive been trying to keep things more low key because i guess its become a little tiring on ppl to feel my high energy and i know i can't please everyone by being entirely myself. plus there was a whole other incident that caused some awkwardness so right now i dont really want to be screaming and announcing my presence. and praise the Lord because i feel that things between me and the wardrobe mistress have been getting a little better. i guess shes more comfortable to my working style now and i realized that shes not evil just a little too conservative in the way she does things that pisses me off sometimes. i guess i should credit the artistic manager who i had a good speech with. he tld me that i have to take things in a different light so that i dont get affected by what she says or does since its not personal. im glad and i really have to thank God for being so gracious to me.

ive also felt recently that i need to come back a little closer to God. ive generally been a little more distant and it doesnt help that i am so busy at work. my father mentioned something that really made me think about stuff. he said that when he was a teen, he asked God what present he could give him on Christmas (which is kinda weird) but i really loved the answer. God appeared to him in his quiet time and the exact words from the material he was reading was: the best gift you can give to God for Christmas is your TIME! freaky or what but i really feel like our time is very precious to us and by surrendering it to God and giving him our time is the greatest gift we could give him. i was quite inspired by that. to all the cynics who are non-Christians, dont wry, i havent turn into some extremist.

anyway ive also felt really inspired for my latest project in mdc so im gg to sleep on it. gdnite((: