All I want is just this small space in a huge online world to rant and share what I really love. So you can either like it or hate it and F off <3

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life as a fashion designer is never as easy as one imagines. people who don't work in the fashion industry will never be able to fully comprehend the blood sweat and tears that go into every single piece of clothing sent down the runway. this thought dawned upon me while i was watching "the day before fendi", a documentary of the fendi fall09 show. the whole process of watching the show made me feel worn out as i tried to place myself in the shoes of the people who work round the clock to make the fashion show a success. karl lagerfield is such an inspiration as i really saw how he managed to adapt to his surroundings and really blend with his work environment. he has such grace when he walks so much so that he exudes a certain presence that is uniquely his. he also manages to use his design eye to create perfection even if it means being brutal while crediting the people that he feels deserves his praise.

on a personal note. life has not been the easiest being at home and i much enjoy being outside with my friends. true what my parents say of family always being there for you in times of trouble but they can also be the source of ur unhappiness which in this case has been what ive been feeling. ever since my coming out, ive had NO PEACE from my mother. shes been always on the offensive which is making my life miserable. its in times like these when what the counselors say about parents needing to support their children for who they are becomes so important in the child's life. i can officially say that my parents DONT!! i feel kinda claustrophobic at home. no doubt its been a little better talking things out but ive also opened another door for trouble, mainly the _____phobic tendencies of my mother. this annoys me A LOT and sometimes i just want to scream at her, telling her to SHUTUP because you here her whining about how miserable she is that i give her trouble although i dont see how i have destroyed her life. i am neither rude nor do i give her a hard time. it kinda affects me and i feel my life becoming a little more miserable as the days go by. in fact i cant wait for the day where i can move out of this home so tt some of unhappiness in my life can be cut off. she says i have a loose mouth but she shld look in the mirror. the theory of pot calling the kettle black really applies in this case and i can say that her words to me are cutting enough to make me dislike her.
other than tt its back to work tmr. so signing off.