All I want is just this small space in a huge online world to rant and share what I really love. So you can either like it or hate it and F off <3

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ok my cj friends prob think im lyk such a freaking bitch for pang sei-ing them. but i totally had a valid excuse. i went for baptism and membership class at my church. the baptism talk was ok but the membership class was really quite a bore. i almost fell asleep. well so did my fren jonathan. ugh. im so sry u guys. plus the pressure of finding a script and everything, i really hav no mood to go out. im paranoid. im gg crazy. its so stressful, my life i mean. even if i dun get to go out as often as like javier or wg, i prefer to stay at home. but no. ive got so many commitments. i wish i was sick so tt i dun hav to go. im scared. u cld say im an escapist. but ive always been lyk tt. sob. now i oso cannot go out tmr. sniff sniff:(

UGH! JUST AS I WAS BEING SO HAPPY BOUT MY LIFE, SOME SMS JUST RUINED IT ALL. i am just so super freaking pissed and i feel so left out of the world. they told me jc life was where u had ur fun moments as an adolescent. BULLCRAP! ugh i am so pissed. i have like almost no social life. i rather b a mugger and spend my life studying with free time to go out than be someone with no life. wad the hell is wrong wif this world. so freaking pissed. I HATE MY FREAKING NO LIFE! a lot of vulgarities are surfacing in my mind now but trying to be a gd christian and all, i refuse to say it. why god. i noe its wrong to blame u but i just feel so lifeless. no life. sji was filled with so much more memories that last for a long time.i feel like im in a torture chamber, being suffocated to death. why was i so foolish to follow blindly. i should have been more firm on wad i wanted to do. i might not have met my wonderful frens, which is also sad but yet i wld have been enjoying my freaking life now. sometimes i just wish to end it but i got no guts to do such things. ugh. just totally hate my life. hate it! and i oso think i am developing a mental disorder or something cos i always feel lyk im being watched or stared at and this problem onli developed afta my wonderful life vanished into thin air. im so paranoid nowadays. help me god. save me. and give me the immense strength tt im gg to need till the end of 24 nov 2007.

on sunday afternoon, me june and javier went to bugis street and peninsula plaza to shop. i shall just advertise tt peninsula sells the cheapest skinny jeans. my gosh man $20 to $25. woo wad a deal. i was so happy tt the shop keeper was so persuasive in asking me to take a look at his shop. i will definitely go there again wen i have more money again. haha. it was quite fun walking to the various shops in bugis street which was our next shopping spot. luv it. well its not as cheap as thailand or china but it will definitely make do in singapore where shopping is becoming so super expensive. haha. anyway, it was fun hanging out with my peeps and june is seriously such a good and patient shopper. telling me and javier which was gd on us. june u totally rock. woohoo. anyway, on to the next outin which was the clique outing to east coast.


OMG!! my freaking exams are ova. just super happy till can kill myself. but its onli 5 full days of fun then i'll be back to the whole normal routine of sch. yuck. anyway, todays lit paper was quite hard considering tt yesterdays was much better. well i hope it goes well. i definitely dun wanna retain if not i'll just go kill my self. ugh. then ngee ann poly ppl will prob see me in their sch next yr. i really hope i pass AT LEAST. ugh. anyway, for now, im enjoying my slack life. nothing to wry or think about. just slack. haha.

went to watch the nanny's diaries today. its a really gd show on how society works and it really gives an insight to how ppl even though rich, may suffer from an unhappy till they realize tt the things most impt to them are not material wealth but relationships tt last. it was quite a touching movie. i almost cried at the part where the nanny tells the employed through a video that she shld treasure her son before it is too late. oh well it was a gd show. i wld give it a 4/5.

omg. exam is gg to b ova tmr. i just miss the slight freedom of jumping and screaming around in town. i used to do that every holiday in. mayb there will be less of it but at least i have about 5 days of full fledged enjoyment. woots. well in case u r wondering why i have so little time to scream around, i have rehearsals for drama's end of yr production arabian nights. actually im not really keen but it exposes me to all the various stuff tt i need to noe about perf. haiz. wat to do, i wasnt born a star actor. haha. but my dream is really to become a fashion designer.



and today at devotions, i was so pissed at my sji senior who is also in ac. he obviously cannot fake his accent well so why did he even bother attempting. i hate it when ppl behave so fake sometimes. in fact this is the stereotype of my school. not tt im trying to diss it but i have heard a lot of ppl trying to talk lyk ang mohs. hello lyk wats up wif that. pls be proud of ur own heritage. u r born a freaking chinese so speak lyk one. ugh. and when he was praying he said "god pls fill us with ur piss (instead of peace)" it was so annoying. i really lyk devotions in the morning but sometimes i get so turned off by the speaker. lyk today and the other day wen there was this girl who kept trying to speak with expression but sounded more lyk she was breathless or something. if u cant do it the artificial way, do it in ur own natural way. nobody is gg to kill u for being urself. in the morning, ppl are very grumpy and they want to hear some words of inspiration from the word of God. it is therefore very important that a gd speaker goes up to talk about it. the teachers and principals are quite gd in fact at this. but its just the minority of annoying students that just try too hard. ugh. wannabes. at least i dun try to be cool or angmoh. i try to be lame. (haha believe it or not) becos i lyk to make ppl laugh. i lyk happy ppl. haha.



anyway tmr will be the start of fun and some shopping during the weekend. woots. ok gtg study for my LAST paper. and btw, my bday just passed haha.