All I want is just this small space in a huge online world to rant and share what I really love. So you can either like it or hate it and F off <3

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UGH! JUST AS I WAS BEING SO HAPPY BOUT MY LIFE, SOME SMS JUST RUINED IT ALL. i am just so super freaking pissed and i feel so left out of the world. they told me jc life was where u had ur fun moments as an adolescent. BULLCRAP! ugh i am so pissed. i have like almost no social life. i rather b a mugger and spend my life studying with free time to go out than be someone with no life. wad the hell is wrong wif this world. so freaking pissed. I HATE MY FREAKING NO LIFE! a lot of vulgarities are surfacing in my mind now but trying to be a gd christian and all, i refuse to say it. why god. i noe its wrong to blame u but i just feel so lifeless. no life. sji was filled with so much more memories that last for a long time.i feel like im in a torture chamber, being suffocated to death. why was i so foolish to follow blindly. i should have been more firm on wad i wanted to do. i might not have met my wonderful frens, which is also sad but yet i wld have been enjoying my freaking life now. sometimes i just wish to end it but i got no guts to do such things. ugh. just totally hate my life. hate it! and i oso think i am developing a mental disorder or something cos i always feel lyk im being watched or stared at and this problem onli developed afta my wonderful life vanished into thin air. im so paranoid nowadays. help me god. save me. and give me the immense strength tt im gg to need till the end of 24 nov 2007.